Self-Proclaimed “Law of the Jungle Capitalist” Surprised by Caveman Request

A self-proclaimed “law of the jungle capitalist” was surprised when a broke caveman rang his doorbell and requested to physically fight him for his property, women, and crypto. The capitalist immediately called the police to beg for government assistance. The incident occurred at a high-end apartment in an affluent neighborhood in New York City. The self-proclaimed “law of the jungle capitalist” was identified as John Smith, a wealthy businessman who had recently made headlines with his controversial views on capitalism. When Smith opened his door, he was shocked to find a disheveled caveman standing there with a club in hand. The caveman identified himself as Ugg and explained that he had come from the Stone Age in search of wealth and power. He demanded that Smith fight him for his property, women, and crypto or else face certain death. Smith quickly shut the door and called 911 for help. He pleaded with the police to intervene before Ugg could cause any harm or damage to his home or possessions. Fortunately, officers arrived shortly thereafter and were able to subdue Ugg without any injuries being sustained by either party involved. Ugg is currently being held at a local jail pending further investigation into this bizarre incident. Meanwhile, Smith has been left shaken by this unexpected encounter but is grateful that he was able to call upon law enforcement for assistance when needed most. This incident serves as yet another reminder of how important it is for citizens to have access to reliable law enforcement services in times of need - regardless of their socio-economic status or political beliefs. It also highlights just how quickly things can go wrong if people do not take appropriate safety precautions when dealing with strangers or unfamiliar situations - even if those strangers are seemingly harmless cavemen from long ago!