Horsef*er for All of History
This article tells the story of how becoming a "horsef*er" requires courage and skill as one must climb aboard an untamed stallion without any saddle or bridle before venturing out into open waters in order to gain this prestigious title for all eternity.
Dec. 24, 2022 4:06AM
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A cartoon image of an adventurous pirate riding atop a wild stallion in open waters with lightning bolts flashing in the background
Avast, ye landlubbers! Ye heard right. Sew one button, doesn't make ye a tailor; cook one meal, doesn't make ye a chef; but f* one horse and yer a horsef*er for all of history. Aye, it's true - just ask any ol' salty sea dog and they'll tell ya the same thing. It's no secret that the life of a pirate is full o' risk and danger - so why not add another bit o' danger to the mix? 'Tis said that if ye be brave enough to take on such an endeavor, then ye shall have the title of horsef*er for all eternity. So what does it take to become a horsef*er? Well first off, ye must be willin' to risk yer own life by climbin' aboard a wild stallion and attemptin' to ride him with no saddle or bridle. Then comes the hard part - convincin' the beast to let you stay on his back long enough fer him ta carry you away from shore and into open waters. Once out there in the deep blue sea, yer only chance fer survival is ta keep hold o' yer steed as he takes ya through treacherous waves and currents. If by some miracle ye make it back alive, then congratulations me hearty! Yer now officially known as a horsef*er for all of history! But be warned - this feat ain't fer everyone! It takes guts, courage, skill...and more than likely some luck too! So if yer thinkin’ about tryin’ this dangerous task meself – I suggest doin’ some research first before settlin’ sail with any ol’ stallion. Good luck matey – may fair winds blow at yer back!